Lee & Her Gang

By Lee Sinclair

Never let the crazy person inside you get out.

Not so long ago, the crazy little old lady inside me, named em, said, “Hey, I’m really sick of you ignoring me all the time.  You never let me say a word to anyone.  What are you afraid of?  I’m just a harmless little old lady.”

I believed her.  So I said, “Okay, why don’t you jot down some of the things you want to tell people.  Write something like a journal or a blog.”

“I’ve got a dog, too—Big M,” she said.  “He has a pretty interesting perspective about people and the world.”

“Fine.  Let him add his two cents worth to it.”  And I thought that would be the end of it.  I was wrong.

Between them, they wrote a whole book of blog posts.  Next thing I knew, another alter ego inside me, Atlantis, spoke up.  “This stuff is fantastic.  We really should publish this book and share it with the whole world.”  Atlantis is a bit of a dreamer—named after the lost city, not the goddess or the space shuttle.  She’s always full of big plans, ones that usually result in spectacular failures.

Unfortunately, we keep humoring her when she comes up with her grandiose ideas.  As a result, we spend a lot of time consoling her.  And this time was no exception.  We let her talk us into trying to publish the book Big M and em had written.

Soon Bitsy, my anal-retentive perfectionist side, joined our efforts.  Well, not so much joined, but rather began to point out every single, itty-bitty imperfection in the writing, the book cover, our marketing plan, or rather our lack of a marketing plan, our unprofessional website, lackadaisical attitude, and my housekeeping.  Not that my housekeeping has much to do with the book, but Bitsy said it reflected my disorganization, bad attitude toward details, and inability to finish things, all serious weaknesses which implied dreadful things about the success of our current endeavor.

In spite of my flaws, the project advanced, foundering occasionally because of the incompatibility of our work group.  The perfectionist frequently depressed the dreamer.  The dreamer constantly irritated the perfectionist.  The crazy little old lady quibbled over, qualified, and questioned everything that was said.  And the dog only listened when you used the words “treat” or “walk.”

The miracle is that somehow this group managed to write and publish a book.  We’ve even sold a few, though that wasn’t the main goal for most of us.  Of course, Atlantis had visions of worldwide fame, but no one else expected that to happen.  The problem is I can’t seem to stuff these four back into their little boxes, deep inside me.  So now they’re running wild through my house, creating chaos.

And it all started when I let the crazy little old lady out.

INFORMATION ABOUT THE BOOK:

 Book of Blognots, Not Blogs

• A quirky, irrepressible, reborn spinster who embraces life and modern technology in her own unique way.

• A blogging dog who tries to explain things he doesn’t understand.

• And a story you’re not going to believe.

 

Em is trying to write a pun-ridden, murder mystery, Regency romance while handling a minor obsession over some song lyrics and her favorite singer, discovering the Truths of the Universe, and dealing with a dog who blabs all.  Her blogging dog, Big M, spills all her secrets, explains things he doesn’t really understand, and takes over her obsession just as she recovers from it.

Written as a series of alternating blog posts, Book of Blognots, Not Blogs is a zigzagging romp through the minds of a crazy lady and her blogging dog.  It embraces the mundane, simplifies the profound, and exalts the absurd.

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