Have you ever drooled over a pint of decadent ice cream at the grocery store? One featuring a mixture of chocolate chunks and chewy cherries? Or perhaps your taste buds have been tantalized by limited-edition blueberry crumble or peppermint bark. Have you closed your eyes to the nutrition information printed on the side, especially the lines listing calories and serving size (One-half cup? Are they kidding?) and added the container in your shopping cart?
Then perhaps you brought your special treat home and hid it in your freezer behind boxes of Lean Cuisine or secured it beneath bags of frozen broccoli. Maybe you even chortled and muttered the words, “Mine. All mine.”
And then later that evening, with the house quiet and everyone asleep, have you tiptoed to the kitchen and reached for your treasure… only to find it missing? After a frantic search, did you discover the empty carton in the trash under the sink, a trickle of fudgy goodness bleeding from its battered rim?
NOT that this has ever happened to me! But if it had, I know what I’d do. After mourning my loss and plotting revenge, I’d log on to http://www.benjerry.com/ and buy Ben & Jerry’s Euphori-Lock. This heavy-duty security device fits snugly over the lid of a pint of ice cream and with its 3-digit combination lock is sturdy enough to repel anyone who might consider putting his grubby hands on … that is, someone who might accidentally mistake a person’s special ice cream for his own. At only $6.64 the lock is worth every penny to ensure an ice cream lover’s peace of mind. In fact, I’d venture to say that this simple mechanism could go a long way toward reducing the nation’s alarming divorce rate.
With those benefits in mind, I hope you’ll share the news of this great invention with everyone you know who has suffered from ice cream theft. By the way, the lock has a warning printed on its side: I’m terribly sorry, but there is no “u” in “my pint.” This seems rather subtle to me. Perhaps they’ll be coming out with a deluxe electrified version soon. (Heh, heh, heh.)