The Ikea Effect

When I’m driving, my car radio is usually tuned to National Public Radio (NPR), mainly because I know I’ll be entertained, hear some good music, and maybe learn something new. Not long ago “Morning Edition” reported on a phenomenon I knew nothing about: The Ikea Effect.

Ever heard of it? I hadn’t. Wikipedia explains: “The Ikea effect is a cognitive bias where labor enhances affection for its results. The name for this psychological phenomenon is in honor of the wildly successful Swedish manufacturer named Ikea, whose products typically arrive with some assembly required.”

The NPR commentator described it better:

“Imagine that, you know, you built a table,” said Daniel Mochon, a Tulane University marketing professor, who has studied the phenomenon. “Maybe it came out a little bit crooked. Probably your wife or your neighbor would see it for what it is, you know? A shoddy piece of workmanship. But to you that table might seem really great, because you’re the one who created it. It’s the fruit of your labor. And that is really the idea behind the Ikea Effect.”

Evidently, this phenomenon has been around for a long time and, according to The Harvard Business Review, has actually been exploited. A famous maker of cake mixes discovered that their product sold much better after they changed the instructions to require the addition of an egg in its preparation. (Previously, only the addition of water was needed.) It seems cooks took more pride in the results when they felt they’d contributed more to the creation of the end product.

The downside to this phenomenon is that while the person takes pleasure in her creation, she doesn’t take kindly to criticism about it. And that means the Ikea effect can be a problem for writers too. Anyone who has created a “perfect” scene—gorgeous description, snappy dialogue, biting humor—knows how hard it is to endure suggestions for improvement from well-meaning critique group members. I now understand that this is the Ikea Effect at work.

So if you have the following symptoms, you may be suffering from the negative effects of this malady:
Blindness that prevents you from seeing the flaws in your creation
Deafness that blocks negative comments about your creation
Prickliness that makes you grit your teeth when anyone suggests that your creation may be anything less than wonderful

And one final thought. If you see signs of the Ikea Effect in friends, it’s best to just nod and smile and keep your mouth shut. Trust me when I say they won’t appreciate hearing anything but praise for their wonky bookcase or the latest chapter of their book.

SOURCES
NPR: http://www.npr.org/2013/02/06/171177695/why-you-love-that-ikea-table-even-if-its-crooked
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikea_Effect
Harvard Business Review: http://hbr.org/web/2009/hbr-list/ikea-effect-when-labor-leads-to-love

Feel the burn…it hurts!

I joined a gym.

Yes, I know…WHY?

Let me explain. Last fall, a few things happened, starting with Hurricane Sandy. Along with everything else that happened because of that Superstorm, an unusual phenomenon occurred among Jersey women called the Sandy Ten. It was the result of us sitting around, with no refrigeration or means to cook food, for eight or more days. We all ate anything that came in an Entenmann’s bakery box. In my case, we’re talking chocolate frosted donuts and crumb cake. Collectively, I think women in New Jersey gained 1.379 million pounds. I was personally responsible for about, yes, ten of them.

Then I quit my day job, which was as a bookseller at Barnes and Noble. My job had a downside, of course, but one of the great things was my daily 10,000 steps, back and forth to the main desk, during an eight-hour shift. Because I quit as winter was starting, it was hard to make up all that walking by heading outside. So I sat around. I was writing, but that doesn’t really qualify as a physical activity. When I finally stepped on a scale, I was stunned. The last time I weighed that much, I was three days away from giving birth.

So I joined a gym. It’s right down the street, literally three minutes away. It’s open 24/7, so I could, if so moved, walk down there the next time I was awake at four in the morning and felt like putting a little time on the elliptical machine.

Now, here’s the thing. I know how exercise is supposed to work. You repeat a specific activity until you’re sweaty, tired, and your muscles start to hurt. That helps built muscle tissue, which increases your metabolism, and increases strength and stamina. All good things. I know that.

But there’s a problem. When I get sweaty, my first inclination is to stop what I’m doing and get a drink, preferably something that’s served with a cute pink umbrella. When I get tired, I want to stretch out somewhere and read. When my muscles hurt, I want to first dull the pain (preferably with something that’s served with a cute pink umbrella) then rest (and stretch out and read). So, left to my own devices, any work-out would probably result in my becoming a well-rested, well-read alcoholic.

Obviously, intervention was going to be required if this was going to work.

Enter Jarrett. He’s a trainer He’s also an ex-Marine. His mother lives right in town. When I saw her in the Post Office the other day, I yelled at her.

“Your son is killing me!”

She laughed. Hey, he’s her son, so she’s probably in amazing shape and therefore completely unsympathetic.

So, Jarrett and I sat down for a chat. First, he asked me what my goals were. I recited the long litany of weight-gain woes that he listened to without his eyes glazing over. Obviously, a complete professional. Then I told him I also wanted to build muscle mass and increase my flexibility. And oh yes, I wanted really buff arms. I was going to reference Angela Bassett in What’s Love Got To Do With It, but figured he was way to young to know who I was talking about.

He gave me as assessment, which required me to do things I hadn’t done since high school gym class. I went on a few machines, did a killer sit-up or ten, and he wrote all sorts of things down. At the end of the session, I was tired, but thought, hey, that wasn’t so bad. Next day, every single part of my body hurt, and continued to do so for three days. But I toughed it out – no pain, no gain, right?

Now, when I mentioned building muscle mass, I was thinking we could find two or three muscles, you know, really big ones, and work on those. Jarrett, however, devised a program that will target a different muscle group every time I go in for a workout. I go to the gym two or three times a week. It takes two or three days for my muscles to stop hurting. So I’m going to be sore every single day for the next three months.

And did I mention cardio? It is SO boring to go on a treadmill at eight in the morning and walk and then run and then walk…even listening to great disco music from the seventies on my iPod cannot make the time go faster.

I’ve been at it about a month and haven’t lost a pound. Yes, I know, muscle weighs more that fat. Maybe my waistband is a little looser. My brother-in-law asked me if I was losing weight, so my body shape is changing. And now, when I walk the dog, I’m pulling her along, instead of the other way around.

But, once I accomplish all my goals – slim down, get a little buff, finish a mile at a respectable jog rather than a brisk walk – I know that it’s not over. I can’t relish the feeling that I’ve done the work and can now power-walk triumphantly into the sunset.

All I can do is keep going, three times a week, for the rest of my life.

Because as soon as I stop…

9 Things My Mother Doesn’t Know About

Mother’s Day is here again, so Happy Mother’s Day to the 1.97 billion mothers out there. How is the number of mothers calculated? There are approximately 7 billion people on the planet. A little over half are women, and about 2.4 billion are of child-bearing years or greater. Of those 2.4 billion, 18%, or .433 billion choose not to have children, leaving 1.97 billion potential mothers.

Hence the above number of mothers but since I haven’t counted every one, let’s assume the number is a wild guess.

I lost my mother nearly 35 years ago and have now been without her longer than I had her. Every single day I think of her. Two years ago for Mother’s Day,  I wrote a post about a conversation with Mom  and decided to write about it again.

I think of all she’s missed in the 35 years she’s been gone. The other day I was shredding paper and my thoughts drifted to her and how she would have demanded to know what that horrible, loud machine was and what on earth was I doing?

Which led to more thoughts about all the things we have and take for granted today which we would have been unable to comprehend  back then, in 1979.

So, Mom, here’s a partial list, by no means inclusive, just nine things at which I think you would marvel:

Air bags – Remember when we used to drive around with no seat belts and the kids flopped around on the back seat? Well, no more! Now everyone has to be buckled in and the kids have to be in government-approved safety seats and there are big inflatable bags installed throughout the car that will automatically burst forth and protect you if you are involved in a collision. It could potentially break a few bones, especially in smaller people so kids can’t even be in the front seat until they reach a certain height/weight.

ATM machines – This is a good way for banks to cut costs. It eliminated a lot of jobs and people don’t go inside the bank much anymore, but we’re accustomed to it now. You slide a card in and money comes out. Although you really don’t need much money anymore, because everything is done with that card or others just like it. Everywhere you go, you slide cards and sign your name using a fat pen on a screen and it is always completely illegible.

Bar codes and scanners – Nothing has price tags any longer. Instead, the price is on the shelf where the item sits and each item has a code which is scanned by the clerk as he passes it over a little window which beeps happily when it can determine what the code is. Each code has its own price and knows if it’s on sale or if it’s BOGO. Everyone hated these at first, and didn’t trust them, but nobody ever listened to these complaints. So no one thinks about it any longer, it’s become a way of life.

E-mail – This is a new way of corresponding with people. We now write letters and messages to other people using a computer or even a phone (but we better not go to the phone part just yet). When you write an email it gets sent immediately to the other person who might get a little ding that announces its arrival. It used to be fun to get emails, but now most of them are advertisements and junk. Meanwhile, the Post Office is going broke because people seldom mail anything, so the price of stamps is regularly jacked up which makes people even more determined not to mail anything.

Mobile phones – These are phones without wires. Voices float through the air. There are things called cell phone towers erected all over which are ugly but necessary for this. The closest cell phone tower to where you are picks up your voice and sends it to a cell phone tower closest to the person you want to talk to. Then you talk, break up, ask the person to repeat herself, talk some more, break up some more. Then you usually say call me back, and try again. You remember those old phones we had in the 70′s? Those were actually much better quality and more reliable. But mobile phones let you take your phone with you wherever you go and you will never be in danger of being out of touch. And also, you can see who is calling so you can click the “ignore” button, which is empowering.

GPS systems – This is the new map. Instead of hauling out the Atlas which is all beat up from being tossed around in the trunk for a decade (and Missouri and Montana are missing altogether), we now punch or say where we want to go and a voice comes on and tells us what to do. Usually it is right. But not always. This can be on a mobile phone or some new cars have them in the dashboard.

Online shopping – Now we can sit at our computers and shop. You do know about computers, right? They had those back in the 70′s.  They used to be big, now they are small and sit on your desk or your lap. You use them to search and buy things. You select what you want to buy and then they ask you for the numbers on that card (see the ATM Machine section), and the charge goes through and they mail your item to you. Sometimes they use the Post Office which makes the Post Office happy. The only problem with this is the excessive amount of cardboard used, which has to be recycled. Oh, wait. You might not know about recycling. We didn’t do much of it back then.

Recycling – We now have to be very careful not to throw out some things. We have to return it so it can be reprocessed and used to make more stuff to be thrown out, er, recycled. This is so we can reduce something called our “carbon footprint” which really means we discard way too much trash and it is making a big mess of the world.

Paper Shredders – Now we have a thing called identify theft. That’s where bad guys find your SSN or your secret financial papers and use the information to hack around and steal money from you. So now you have to save up your vulnerable documents and then one day, finally, you must sit down and shred it all, feed it into a noisy machine which can chop it up into little pieces. It makes a big mess when you dump the shreddings, and fills up plastic bags which you then recycle (see “Recycling” above).

This has been just a sampling of technology and inventions and new ways of life that you’ve missed. I suspect you would have adapted to some of them, maybe most of them. And Happy Mother’s Day, Mom, wherever you are.

Review: The Nature of Personal Reality

Reading at least one of the “Seth books” by Jane Roberts is almost a requirement if you have any interest in metaphysical books.  Her books are often mentioned in others, and many more authors were probably influenced by them.  Given that, it’s surprising it took me so long to begin reading them.  But it was probably better that I did wait because of the complexity of the material.

I am not reading this series in the order they were written.  I seldom do.  Once I become interested in a particular author, I usually check the local library to see which books they have available and pick the one that appeals to me most.  The Nature of Personal Reality was the first one I read, so I decided I would review it, instead of any of the others.  If you have no decided preference, The Seth Material might be a better first choice.  That one introduces the basic concepts, and the style is somewhat easier to read.  It blends direct quotes from Seth (the channeled entity) with interpretation of the material by Jane Roberts.

As each new book was published, the style gradually changed to focus almost exclusively on the material directly from Seth, with comments by Jane Roberts’s husband being added in italics.  This was distracting, especially since many of the notes were irrelevant to the topic being discussed.  These asides usually broke my train of thought and interfered with my comprehension of the concepts.  Eventually, I became better at skimming over or skipping entirely all these unnecessary notes.  Oddly enough, the different approach used in The Nature of the Psyche, which inserted most of the notes at the end of each chapter, wasn’t much better, since many of those notes were relevant to the material and helped clarify certain points being made.

These books were originally published in the Sixties and Seventies.  Although this was a time when many people embraced radical ideas, they still must have been quite shocking to most people.  Even from a present day perspective, some of the content is pretty extreme.  There is sufficient diversity in the topics covered—religion, health care, crime, science, aggression, history, etc.—to upset or offend just about everyone.  In fact, I can’t imagine anyone ever agreeing with, believing, or even understanding everything in these books.

Many of the concepts are both difficult to fully comprehend and impossible to prove or disprove.  Take for instance the comments made about time throughout all the books.  According to Seth, “time” is used so we can experience the physical world, but everything is actually occurring simultaneously.  There is no past or future.  Yet, many of the ideas are presented in a time-based context.  Although that’s probably the only way we can have any understanding of them at all, it still creates difficulties due to what seem to be contradictory statements.  How can we learn from past lives if we are currently living all our lives?  Even if it’s true, I don’t think we can truly understand this concept or all its implications from our physically-oriented perspective.

This book focuses on how we create our own reality.  “You form the fabric of your experience through your own beliefs and expectations.  These personal ideas about yourself and the nature of reality will affect your thoughts and emotions.”  In other words, reality becomes whatever we believe it to be and is experienced in a self-confirming circular pattern.  The structure of our lives is based on core beliefs, which then collect subsidiary beliefs that support them.  The goal of the book is to help us understand how it works and also to recognize what our core beliefs are so that we can keep the ones that are beneficial and change the ones that aren’t.  If we can change the core beliefs that create negative results, the subsidiary beliefs supporting them will drop away.

Various types of commonly held beliefs are explored in detail.  Some of the most interesting ones to me were about crime, punishment, and guilt, and about aggression versus violence.  Current events suggest that a better understanding of these would be of value to the entire world.  Other topics focused on in the book include dreams, health, and the “Point of Power” (which is the present, obviously, since neither the past nor the future exist).

Ironically, the most disappointing aspect of the book was the lack of specific steps for discovering and changing one’s beliefs.  I don’t know why that should bother me, since I hardly ever follow that kind of advice.  But I felt like they were promised to me and when they were eventually revealed throughout the book, they seemed vague and un-emphasized to the point where I almost missed them.  Even now, I’m not sure I made notes of them all.  Yes, there are some suggestions.  Just don’t expect there to be a 12-step program you can follow, or in my case, ignore.

The Seth books are fascinating, the ideas in them intriguing.  The fundamental concept that we are creating our own reality is found in many other books, especially those dealing with the Law of Attraction.  But the Seth books go way beyond the simplicity of those other books.  Although some of the material is definitely too far “out there” for me, I found them thought-provoking and mind-expanding—well worth the time reading and even re-reading them.  I have read several, so far, and plan on reading several more, if not all of them.

Relax. It’s only a game…or is it?

Do you have a person in your life who’s just a little bit…off? You know, the uncle who is convinced that there really are aliens living among us? The neighbor who is stockpiling food, just in case? Or the guy at work who will, if you let him, explain how there is a massive conspiracy, spearheaded by a shadowy underground network, to demoralize and ultimately destroy the very fabric of our society? And that they are doing it through such a simple and innocent vehicle, that we’ll never notice until it’s too late?

I always laughed at that one. First of all, who are ‘They’ exactly? How on earth could they possibly get to so many people at the same time? And what could ‘They’ do that would be so demoralizing?

Yeah, I always thought that guy was particularly crazy. But then, I downloaded a seemingly innocent game called Candy Crush Saga, and I’m beginning to think, after a few weeks of playing, that maybe, just maybe…that guy is right.

Candy Crush Saga first came to my attention because some of my Facebook friends were playing and were posting their results. They also asked if I wanted to play with them. Listen to me now, people – these requests are NOT from your friends. No friend would seek to ensnare you in such an evil time-suck. They are trying to recruit you, yes, so please – heed my warning.

Step away from the screen.

It looks so innocent. Pretty colors, bright animation, a sweet little cartoon girl to guide you along. And at first, you think, hey – why not? After all, it’s free. And it doesn’t look hard. The game is just a simple grid, filled with colored ‘candies’. It’s just like playing tic-tac-toe. You move the candies to get three in a row, those three vanish, and you find three more. So easy, right? And when you’ve completed a level, you see a banner come across the screen that says, ‘Wonderful!’

And really, don’t we all want to be wonderful?

But – what happens when you DON’T complete the level? Well, then you get a different banner.

Level failed.
You did not complete the goal.

Wait – I failed? That’s not what I’m about. I succeed. And what’s this crap about not completing the goal? I ALWAYS reach my goals. That’s what being an American is all about, reaching higher and farther, and achieving whatever we want. What’s this little animated girl, crying for pity’s sake, telling me I FAILED????

So, you try again. Of course you do. And maybe this time, you complete the level. Or not. So you try again. And again. And here is where it gets tricky. Yes, of course playing the game is free. But – want a little Booster? Something to help you along? Or, do you want a few extra tries, even after time has run out? Well, that sort of thing you can buy. And here’s another twist – you’re only allowed so many tries in a certain period of time. If you’ve used up all your tries, you have to wait. 30 Minutes. There’s even a cute little clock that show the time for you. Unless, you want to buy another ‘Life” then and there.

See what I’m getting at? This could cost you a bundle.

And here’s the thing – as you’re trying to race against the clock, or complete the level in only so-many moves, you think, ‘This is impossible’. But it’s not, and you know it, because suddenly you’ve done it, you’ve moved on to the next thing, and you’re feeling pretty good about yourself until…’This is impossible’.

Only now, you know the cold, hard truth. It’s not ‘impossible’.

You just can’t do it.

You keep trying. You stare at the screen and try to maximized your every move. If you get four in a row, you get a striped candy with extra power. Five in a row equals a round chocolate ball covered in sprinkles. If you combine two of these together, you get a super-candy. So – how can I get this from all the way over here, and combine it with this one…

Did I mention this is a real time-suck?

And then, you get to the levels where the chocolate squares actually spread, COVERING up your choices, making it that much harder!

Oh my.

Last month, I had two projects due. I finished another romantic comedy, which was sent off to an editor’s desk. I also finished my YA project that I’ll be launching in June. So, although I felt bad about not being able to post to this site in March, I had a few pretty reasons. I was busy. I was working.

I was also playing Candy Crush Saga.

I’m so sorry. Really. But how could I find time to read a book to review, or compare the screen/book versions of Silver Linings Playbook, when Level 35 was taunting me, calling out in the middle of the night, daring me to spend $.99 on an extra try?

I’m up to Level 65 now.

I’ve made it this far without buying any boosters or extra lives.

I’ve given up walking the dog and raking the yard so I can find time to work on those pesky edits.

So far, I’m failing. It’s impossible.

No, it’s not impossible. That’s the thing – I know that it’s me. I’m not good enough… no matter what I do… no matter how hard I try…

…’they’ are starting to wear me down.

The Skagit Valley Tulip Festival

Every April for the past 30 years, families have hopped in their cars and headed to the countryside surrounding Mount Vernon, Washington, to participate in the annual Skagit Valley Tulip Festival. This year my daughter-in-law, granddaughter, and I joined them.  I’m so glad we did.

Located a little over 60 miles north of Seattle on I-5, Mount Vernon is a small town of 30,000 residents and millions of flowering bulbs. The climate is similar to that of northern France. Today we had sunny skies, a light breeze, and temps in the mid-60s. Absolutely perfect weather for walking through fields of flowers.

Rather than try to write a long description of the beauty we experienced, I’ll post several pictures of the flowers we saw. I believe you’ll agree that these photos prove the old adage: a picture is worth a thousand words.

You’ll find more information about the tulip festival here: http://www.tulipfestival.org/site

Not Again!

There’s nothing like a computer crash to inspire a person to organize and back up their data files.  This terrifying experience has happened to me twice now, and you’d think I would have learned my lesson from the first scary time it happened.  Well, I did change my habits, but not necessarily for the better.  Rather than having almost nothing backed up, I went to the other extreme of having multiple backups everywhere, with none of them kept up to date.  So over the past few years, I’ve managed to create a confusing glut of duplicate files.

Basically, my data files have become just as cluttered as my house.  And since I have yet to “conquer” my house clutter, I’m feeling a little doomed.  In fact, with the most recent incident occurring a few weeks ago, I can already feel the impetus to do something about my computer clutter slipping away.  Not that I’ve given up completely.  It’s just that my progress has slowed down, and the new data continues to pile up.

The most important thing I learned this time was what my current priorities are.  The data files I care about most are my personal photos.  (Naturally, my very first concern was all my Chris Isaak concert pictures.)  Now that I’ve gone digital, all my photos are stored on my computer—in multiple spots in a completely disorganized way.  So after I recovered my files, I spent several days reorganizing my picture files and backing them up.

The fact that I did recover my files should be somewhat reassuring.  If this type of disaster strikes you, don’t panic.  Secondly, don’t do anything stupid.  The inclination, of course, is to first panic and then do something stupid because you are panicking.  So try to remember that unless your computer or hard drive was physically destroyed, it’s likely your data files are still there and can be saved—if not all of them, then at least most of them.  How they get recovered (and how much it will cost) depends on exactly what happened and your level of expertise.  If I had panicked and done something stupid, I could easily have made the situation much worse, requiring paid professional help to get my files back.  Fortunately, I was able to recover everything myself, using a free program I found on the Internet.

Once recovered, then what?  I know what I should do.  I should continue my efforts to clean up my files and set up a good system for keeping them both organized and backed up.  But the problem has always been—and still is—finding the right system that works for me.  I have a massive amount of incoming data because of the variety of my interests and activities.  And I have yet to figure out any way of correctly funneling all that information to where I’d like it to end up.  Such a system also assumes that each piece of information I receive already has a place set up where it should be, something which would only be possible if I never again developed a new interest or allowed an old interest to expand beyond its original parameters.

Real life is simply not compatible with computer organization.  For instance, every single thing one writes does not belong in one huge generic “document” folder.  This is true even for people who are not authors.  Pictures require an even more flexible system.  Some belong in a dated folder, while others are easier to group by topic.  All major interests need their own folder, which can then be subdivided into organizational categories suited to each interest.  To complicate matters even further, the operating system and every program you add all have their own annoyingly different ideas of where your data files should end up.  Just finding where they stuck a file can sometimes be a challenge—which is why I frequently end up with multiple copies of files scattered about in various obscure places.  If I don’t pay close attention to where they decide to store the file, I can’t always find it and have to save it again.

I keep all my data files in a completely separate partition from my operating system and programs, so I’ve set up an “All New” folder on it.  Although this folder is subdivided into the usual subcategories (documents, pictures, downloads, etc.), sometimes documents do end up in the pictures folder and vice versa.  But at least most new files end up somewhere in the “All New” folder.  Of course, the files still have to be manually transferred to their final location.  That’s not ideal, but neither is the default organizational structure when you’re dealing with tens or even hundreds of gigabytes of diverse information stored on your computer.

Setting up an efficient, customized structure for organizing your data does save you time in the long run.  All you have to do is figure out what works best for you.  (As if that’s easy.)  Then you need a good backup plan—usually the more automated the better.  And it might not be a bad idea to have a second backup of your most important files—either some type of online backup or perhaps a portable drive or DVD that can be stored in a safe place.

Whatever you do, don’t wait until you have all your data files organized before you create a backup.  If you’re like me, that’ll probably never happen.  The best I can hope for is a semi-organized system with separate folders of messiness.  Instead, learn from all my mistakes and back up your files right now.

And if my experience doesn’t persuade you to take immediate action, perhaps this video about how vulnerable your data files are will be sufficient motivation.